tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87639609417392999272011-08-03T04:56:09.889+01:00This blog is an outlet from a developer to vent his frustration for those irritations that we as developers have to deal with daily. If you work in Project Management (Prince 2 or MSP) or Marketing then I have one message for you - fuck off you useless twats.Dev Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849746718709550591noreply@blogger.comBlogger81100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763960941739299927.post-84837473413674523742009-07-31T08:20:00.003+01:002009-07-31T08:33:10.144+01:00

Why do some people (mainly in marketing) attempt to 'simplify' common terms on the web? They treat all users like imbeciles. In attempting to simplify things they actually complicate them instead.A recent example was a system that allowed users to 'tag' content. The marketing Muppet's said we shouldn't be using the word tag because of:'what the hell's a tag?''users won't understand what tag means

Dev Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849746718709550591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763960941739299927.post-84279015200540516222009-07-15T08:34:00.001+01:002009-07-16T08:43:09.883+01:00

If you’d like to avoid Swine Flu then read this.There are over 80 people in our office made up of approx. 30% contract staff. The permanent members of staff are dropping like flies with Flu like symptoms but it’s not affected any of the contractors. For some reason being a contractor makes you immune to Swine Flu. It’s really odd that isn’t it!?This Swine Flu pandemic could be stopped overnight

Dev Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849746718709550591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763960941739299927.post-68858610241070022492009-07-14T08:32:00.001+01:002009-07-16T08:43:30.260+01:00

Today, I presented to the project board the fact that we couldn’t deliver all the functionality using the available resources by the deadline. We went through the usual “just get more developers on the job” which I responded “we’ve got 50 man days of effort so lets get 100 developers on the job right now and you’ll have it by this afternoon, right?”. To my surprise they all twigged and realised

Dev Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849746718709550591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763960941739299927.post-408907862184415502009-07-13T20:57:00.000+01:002009-07-16T08:41:59.213+01:00

I’m currently working on a web development project in the public sector. It’s mostly resourced with contractors (this is not a pop at contractors – that’s a blog post for another time). The project is to develop a public facing website which has some pretty tricky bits of integration with internal systems and databases, which doesn’t lend itself well to outsourcing. The site has to follow brand

Dev Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849746718709550591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763960941739299927.post-16172439061849542152009-07-12T22:25:00.000+01:002009-07-16T08:41:45.429+01:00

No joke, I used to work with this person:Dress code:Tight black shirt (top 3 buttons undone of course) with over sized lapels.Skin tight black trousers, or are they Lycra?Flip-flops...no not the kind you used to wear as a kid, but 'designer' ones. The bit that goes between your big toe and next toe is rhino hind with a very large fake diamond-like solitaire in the middle.Hair style: If he didn't

Dev Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849746718709550591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763960941739299927.post-91738651475874209952009-07-11T21:54:00.005+01:002009-07-16T08:39:08.649+01:00

The parasite we appointed put our property details on Rightmove.co.uk. When we viewed them along with the photos we quickly realised what a bag of shite they were. The key features consisted of two things - parking and garage. What the fuck is key about those two features?Following a quick phone call to the parasite we were informed it was a technical restriction with the parasite management

Dev Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849746718709550591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763960941739299927.post-18277583017637154952009-07-10T21:26:00.006+01:002009-07-16T08:38:36.605+01:00

The Peugeot 206 advert screened in the UK a couple of years ago had a number of similarities to my experiences of outsourcing software development projects to India. This is not a pop at developers in India as I'm sure there are many other countries in the world with shit developers. In fact, I've come across lots of shit developers in the UK, but I tend to fire them very quickly - subject to UK

Dev Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849746718709550591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763960941739299927.post-29319565338300583112009-07-09T14:52:00.000+01:002009-07-16T08:41:19.853+01:00

I've just been in a meeting with some marketing tits. They were presenting creative design concepts to the project sponsor - on brand and on message of course. There are some BIG flaws in what they're proposing from a development point of view. I point it out and provide a better suggestion. Guess what the prick said to me:'it's a marketing thing, you wouldn't understand it'As this twat said this

Dev Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849746718709550591noreply@blogger.com0